


Binding Arbitration

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Humor, M/M, Relationship(s), Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-21
Updated: 2008-08-21
Packaged: 2018-11-21 01:19:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11346981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: My little response to a "confinement" challenge.





	Binding Arbitration

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

Binding Arbitration

## Binding Arbitration

### by Courtney Gray

##### [Story Headers]

  


"Mulder's coming over." Frohike hung up the phone and raised a bushy eyebrow at Byers and Langly. 

"How're we gonna keep _him_ here?" whispered Langly with a furtive glance towards the closed door at the end of their long hallway. 

"They're never going to, er, resolve their differences until they actually spend some time together, alone. Otherwise, we're going to be playing go-between for the rest of our lives." Byers knew he was preaching to the choir. "We have to think of something." 

"Well, we better do it quick `cuz Spooky Mulder's going to cross our homey little threshold in about 30 minutes and we're not going to get another chance like this one," snapped Frohike. 

"Desperate times call for..." Langly let the rest of his comment hang potently in the air. 

The three men exchanged meaningful looks as their heads dipped towards one another conspiratorially. 

**32 MINUTES LATER...**

"Shhhush!" 

"What's going on? Why am I whispering?" asked Mulder with a frown as Frohike lowered his finger from his lips and steered Mulder inside before he'd even raised his arm to ring the doorbell. 

"Byers has a killer migraine," explained Frohike quietly. He led the taller man into the kitchen. 

"I didn't know he got migraines. He never mentioned it." Mulder looked towards the hallway as he heard a muffled thump somewhere in the distance, like something heavy hitting the floor. 

Frohike shook his head in a dismissive gesture. "Stoic guy, suffers in silence, all that crap." 

A moment later, Langly slunk into the kitchen, nodding at Frohike. "One down, one to go." 

No slouch at picking up the nuances, Mulder's eyes darted between his two friends. "What's going on?" 

Langly crossed his arms over his Grateful Dead t-shirt, took a few steps back and shrugged. "Sorry, Mulder." 

Mulder turned to Frohike and had just enough time to register the white handkerchief against the little man's nose and mouth and the small silver canister pointing straight at his face before a fine mist enveloped his head. "Wha--" 

And then, just like an old B movie, everything went black. 

**AN INDETERMINATE AMOUNT OF TIME LATER...**

Mulder felt the fog lift from his brain and became aware of several peculiar sensations at once. Something warm and heavy was pressed against him. All of him. He was lying on his side. He couldn't move his arms or his legs. Hair was in his face and it wasn't his. He could hear steady breathing. And it wasn't his-- 

Mulder's eyes popped open. The barest hint of citrus wafted from the dark, and remarkably silky, hair that was plastered against his nose. He pulled his head back a little and realized that was about as far as he could move. From his shoulders down to his ankles, he was encircled in some kind of nylon rope. And within that circle, within his arms, unconscious, was Alex Krycek. 

"Oh hell." They were lying in a bed. Mulder angled his head. Fuck, they were in their underwear. He could see slivers of skin peeking out here and there between the layers of white nylon cord, along with slices of his blue boxers and white t-shirt. Almost reluctantly, his eyes ran over what he could see of Krycek's body. Krycek was wearing black underwear and a black t-shirt. 

Figures, he thought. Well, it was better than no underwear at all. Suddenly, he wanted to grab each one of those three idiots he'd erroneously considered his friends and wring their damn necks. 

Fuck, it seemed like he could feel every inch of Krycek's body. 

Mulder turned his neck as far as he could towards the door. "Frohike, you asshole!" he screamed. "Byers! Langly!" 

He froze as he heard a groan. Krycek's head was moving slightly. "Frohike!" he yelled again. 

The door opened a crack and Frohike's head peered in. 

"Get me out of this now!" 

The door opened completely and the three Lone Gunmen walked gingerly into the room, stopping several feet short of the edge of the bed. 

"Is Alex coming around?" Langly asked as he craned his neck to look at the dark head that was starting to lift. 

"Have you three gone insane?! Get me out of this now!" Mulder's angry voice lit the air. 

"You used too much of the anesthetic," noted Byers, ignoring Mulder's ranting. 

"I just wanted to make sure he went down the first time," reasoned Langly. 

"What...the...fuck..." Silence immediately fell over the room at the sound of the groggy voice. 

A startled green gaze took in Mulder's face before skimming over their bound bodies, moving to take in the rest of the bedroom, and stopping finally at the Lone Gunmen. The husky voice was menacingly calm. "I'm going to kill all three of you." 

"Oh god," muttered Langly with a gulp. 

"We're doing this for your own good, Alex," returned Byers bravely. "And yours, Mulder," he added. 

"Untie us now!" cried Mulder. 

"The two of you were instrumental in stopping an Alien threat that could've destroyed our planet," replied Byers. 

"With our help, of course," cut in Frohike. "And Scully's. Oh, and Skinner's." 

"Untie us right now!" screamed Mulder. 

"You saved the world," continued Byers determinedly. "And yet you're still behaving like a couple of squabbling little boys. It's time you both grew up and started talking to each other." 

If looks could kill, the Lone Gunmen would have become three smoldering piles of ash. 

"We didn't want to go to these lengths but you've left us no choice. The rest of us, and that includes Scully and A.D. Skinner, are tired of running interference for the two of you. We're your friends, but we've put up with enough. We all want to get on with our lives, and it's time the two of you did the same," finished Byers. 

"Call this our version of binding arbitration," quipped Langly, earning him two more piercing glares. 

"And don't worry, we'll untie you," said Frohike, gaining the immediate focus of the two bound men. "In a couple of hours...or so. You can't hit each other, you can't walk out on each other. That nylon rope has just enough give to keep your circulation going but you ain't getting out of it. I wasn't an Eagle Scout for nothing. Work it out, boys. Work it out." 

With that, the three men turned in unison and walked out the door, shutting it firmly behind them. Mulder stared at the closed door in disbelief. 

A few seconds later, the bed began shaking as Krycek let out a growl and tried twisting and rocking himself out of their bindings. 

"Stop it, Krycek. Stop it, dammit!" Mulder could feel hard muscle and bone undulating against him. Krycek was panting, warm puffs of breath brushing against his face. They rolled back and forth on the mattress. "Stop! You're only making it worse!" 

Krycek was on top of him, face turned away, his soft hair tickling Mulder's nose. Krycek's chest was heaving from the exertion, their legs sandwiched between each other. Though Krycek's hands were by his sides, Mulder's arms encircled the other man's back and he could feel the tension vibrating through him. Their crotches were jammed together, a fact of which Mulder was suddenly all too aware. 

He was sure he was starting to sweat. 

"You're heavy. C'mon, move to our sides," he grumbled. 

An angry grunt was the only response but then Krycek was tilting them back to their original position. 

Except for the sound of their breathing, the next several minutes passed in complete silence. 

"Those geeks are gonna die." 

Mulder snorted. "This is all your fault." 

Krycek jerked against him, their noses now a mere inch apart. "Singing the same, tired old song, are you? How in the hell is this my fault?" 

"You probably put them up to it, just to aggravate me." He knew it was ridiculous even as he said it. The situation was just so damn...distracting. 

Krycek's mouth dropped open, and Mulder caught a flash of white teeth and moist pink tongue. "You're even crazier than those three morons! Then again, I'm not surprised that you'd assume anything that happens has to revolve around you." 

"That's not true, you asshole." 

"Fuck off." 

Mulder's lips crimped as he fought to control himself. He drew in a long breath but that only made his nipples rub against Krycek's. He bit down on his lip. "Look, let's just...wait them out. We'll..we'll rest for a couple of hours. Let them come back and untie us and then--" 

"We can beat them to death." 

Mulder met the clear green eyes that stared into his. "Sure, why not." 

"Well that's a first. You're agreeing with me...even if you don't mean it." 

Affronted and oddly defensive, Mulder gazed into the eyes that had plagued his nightmares and far too many daydreams. "Forgotten Tunguska, have you? I listened to you then, agreed with you, too." 

Krycek smirked and looked at the wall. "Yeah, after nearly getting us killed and trying your best to beat the shit out of me." 

Mulder bristled, a rush of anger making him wish he could do just that. "If it wasn't for me, you'd be lying here with one less arm." 

"Oh, not that again. You're the one who dragged me to Russia in the first place, you bastard." 

"You had me tortured!" 

"I had you inoculated. I saved your life, dickhead!" 

Mulder flung his head back and butted Krycek as hard as he could." 

"Owww!" 

The bed began to quake as they shoved and heaved their bound bodies to and fro, heads knocking against each other, garbled insults and curses cutting through the air. They were oblivious to the door opening and the three men staring at them, worried looks on their faces. 

"You said they couldn't hit each other," grumbled Langly. 

"It's gotta be Mulder," returned Frohike with a shake of his head. 

"They're going to roll right off the bed in a second," noted Byers. 

Frohike walked over to the bed, picking a pillow off the floor. He wielded it over his shoulder like a club and began bashing the combatants on the bed. 

"Stop it you two! Stop. Right. Now. That's enough!" 

Byers and Langly rushed over in time to catch the two men as they started to slip off the edge of the wide mattress and rolled them back towards the center. 

Fortunately, the two stayed motionless and silent, faces turned as far away from each other as they could manage. Both of them were wincing between heaving breaths. A trickle of blood smeared Krycek's lips. 

"You are unbelievable," yelled Frohike. He exchanged quick looks with his partners. "Now, here's what's gonna happen. You two are going to stop acting like a pair of rabid dogs and start talking like two human beings. If not, then, well, much as we'd hate to sacrifice a nice mattress, we're coming back with several large buckets of ice water and we'll give you both a nice little bath. That should cool you off plenty quick. Capiche?" 

Frohike ignored Krycek's incendiary glance. 

"Just cut us loose. This is not working," said Mulder through gritted teeth. 

"No," the Gunmen replied, in unison. Frohike gave them a disgusted sneer, dropped the pillow and left the room, his two friends falling into single file behind him. The door slammed shut. 

The ensuing silence lasted nearly thirty minutes. Mulder's neck was aching and he finally turned back to look at Krycek, who was already facing him except his eyes were closed. 

If it hadn't been for the tension Mulder could feel thrumming through every muscle of Krycek's body, the man could have been sleeping. Krycek's lower lip was a little swollen beneath the drying smear of blood. 

His mouth was so close, Mulder could have licked it with his tongue. 

Jarred by that mental image, Mulder swallowed hard. 

"That myopic gnome meant what he said, didn't he?" Krycek's hushed voice seemed loud in the silence. His eyes were still closed, framed by those damnably long, girly lashes. 

Mulder fought to corral his thoughts. "Um, throw ice water all over us? Yeah, they'd do it." 

"They have more balls than I gave them credit for." 

"I could say that 'they mean well' but I'm too pissed at them to be that magnanimous," replied Mulder, relieved that Krycek was willing to initiate a conversation. If he had to just stare at the man for hours, he was afraid that he might actually need an ice water bath. 

The veil of dark lashes rose to reveal intense green eyes. "Truce, Mulder? For the duration?" 

Mulder could feel Krycek's muscles bunching beneath his hands as if he was expecting Mulder to try hitting him again. 

Mulder glanced at the blood on Krycek's lip and felt a wave of guilt rising. All at once, he felt weary to the bone. _What a pointless waste of energy_ , chastised a little voice in the back of his brain. A voice he'd done his very best to ignore for far too long. 

"Okay, truce," he answered softly. He felt some of the tension drain from the man in his arms. 

Time to grow up, the little voice murmured. He only managed to half ignore it. "The guys must be on their last nerve to resort to something like this. I guess they were tired of funneling messages between us." 

" _You_ didn't want to meet with me." 

"You didn't want to meet with _me_." 

They both sighed at once. 

Mulder was surprised to hear a smothered chuckle and smiled without realizing it. Damn, Krycek was warm; he felt like he was hugging a human blanket. The press of Krycek's cock against his own through the thin cotton of their shorts seemed even warmer. _Hot_. 

A sense of awkwardness descended over the two men. Their eyes darted everywhere but at each other. 

Minutes crawled by as Mulder wondered if Krycek was as acutely aware of his body as he was of Krycek's. His mouth was going dry and he began to lick his lips. 

"Stop that." Krycek was staring at his mouth. 

Then they just stared at each other as the universe tilted in a whole new direction. 

" _Alex?_ " Mulder felt a twitch against his cock. Felt his own cock twitch in response. 

_Go on, you fool_ , roared the little voice from the back corner of his brain. His heart began pounding in agreement. 

"Alex," he murmured again, closing that last inch of distance between them and pressing his mouth to Krycek's. 

There was a sound very like a whimper and then Alex was kissing Mulder back, like a man who'd been starving for a long, long time. 

As close as they were, Mulder wished they were closer. He slid his tongue into Alex's wet mouth and finally felt truly free. 

**SOMETIME SHORTLY THEREAFTER...**

Once again, the two bound men on the bed were oblivious to the door opening and the three men walking carefully into the room. 

"Oh my," whispered Byers. 

"Well, I'll be damned," added Frohike. 

"Shit, look at `em go," said Langly, his eyes rounding behind his glasses. 

Frohike quickly rummaged through a drawer in the bureau near the door and pulled out a special set of small cutters. He approached the end of the bed and began snipping the nylon cords here and there. 

The ropes loosened immediately and began to unravel as Mulder and Krycek continued kissing, bodies swaying back and forth, neither man letting go of the other. 

"I think we better have dinner out," commented Byers, averting his gaze as Mulder's hands instantly shimmied under Krycek's black t-shirt and Krycek's hands dipped into Mulder's shorts, palming and squeezing his buttocks. 

"And a very long movie after that," noted Langly with a nod. 

As The Lone Gunmen began their expeditious exit, a series of lush moans filled the air and a pair of black boxer briefs sailed across the room. 

"Yessiree, there's nothing like a job well done," proclaimed Frohike with a grin as he closed the door firmly behind them. 

**_END_**

  
 

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Title:   **Binding Arbitration**   
Author:  Courtney Gray   [email/website]   
Details:   **Standalone**  |  **R**  |  **15k**  |  **08/21/08**   
Pairings:  Mulder/Krycek   
Category:  Humor, Relationship, Vignette   
Summary:  My little response to a "confinement" challenge.   
  
  
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